Sound Sculpture.

I love these and would love to have an installation at the Fox River Sanctuary.

Summer reading, zombies and evil truths.

I have realized that all the wondergarden early waldorf training is true and I am at times just a horrid mom. My own mother was part Indian gypse grifter and the other part Scotts-Irish con woman. I myself am a self -absorbed artist type with to much education and to much spare time on my hands, as they say. Mabey not “Mommy dearest” but I am also not Olivia Walton (yet). I aspire to the levl of “momming” of the mom on Lost in Space. She had willful children but deep down they were peaches. Mine too. I have moments that I just want to scream at my children “What’s wrong with you?!?!”. Plus I get really crazy hormonal.

When I lived in California and the Santa Annas would come blasting through – you always felt a bit edgy. That is how I felt today…(and it is a bit windy).

I was hanging out the blankets to air them out before packing them away and it occured to me that my children are of my own making. I was still fuming at the tantrum episode the two of them (6 and 8 ) pulled while we went to the market for sloppy joe fixens and Pantene. It seems it was sample day and we went before lunch, after breakfast and my boy felt he needed many more samples of the deli pasta dish. Pouting because I said “No”, he was pressing his face against the glass of the frozen food pizzas and I snatched him by the ear to get his attention (after many come on’s) and he pulled back – and I pinched his ear instead of grasping it. I was already feeling like the worlds worst mother with spoiled out of control kids when he started to bawl like a two year old. My kids were always quite well behaved untill they started school. They are now of the minds that they are independant creatures with minds of their own and that their father and I are just there to make suggestions and mac-and-cheese.

“I hate you” my sweet boy said at the checkout. My six year old then said “Well I am being good right?” . This after fighting tooth and nail over who got to push the cart and grabbing everything in site to put into the cart – despite my saying ” Not today”.

No no no no no no. I just bagged everything in our World Market canvas totes and marched those kids out to the car and held my breath and tongue for the five minutes back to the house. I was so glad we had not walked today. Groceries carried into the house and then kids straight to their rooms so they could get busy cleaning them up.

My son came out of his room ‘I’m hungry”. my daughter next same thing. The teenager is at work or it would have been a trio of demands and needs not met.

Kids fed – sent outside to water and breathe, then back to their rooms. I began hanging out the blankets from their rooms. That is when it happened, when I realized my children are exactly reflections of who I am and what I have made them. Somewhere I have once again made them too independant ( my oldest is queen of that) and too sassy and hungry and argumentative. My baby girl is the sweetest child and truly a good girl. My oldest another girl – the same and though she is going through a mean streak of seperation,  I know who she is inside, all gravy and frosting.

My son though…I see he has some control issues. My evil truth is that I have not invested enough time with him on what is important – other than video games, math and science. I am stressing him out. I have to look deep inside to see this in me. In the beginning years at Waldorf we are trained to visit each family in their home setting to get a measure of who the family is and who the child is in the family. Each child. That is a lot of visits. After putting out the blankets to dry in the beautiful sun and with the glorious breeze I did a home visit to my own house. I looked at who I am as a mother and who these children are and where they are in the family and I see we need some work but we are all okay. We just need some fine tuning, some better organized rooms and not so much clutter, physically and mentally. To many video games and tellie.

Also, note to self … I need to never again take the kids to the store before they have had lunch and never after a marathon morning of Mario Cart on the Wii.

Connection.

Everything is connecting or unconnecting to bring balance to our worlds. I forgot that for a moment.

The rest of the day we watered the garden and packed away more of winter, coats and heavy wool blankets and pillows, sweaters and toys. It is quiet and now and i have a moments of peace while they clean their rooms (or play). I ordered a  book on Amazon – Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance – Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem! (Paperback). I read the first few pages on amazon and laughed the whole time.  You have to read this – or of you have already please do share your thoughts. Thank you Charlaine for the referal!

Number one on the summer reading list – 09.

I am currently reading – Living Dead in Dallas, Movie night is tonight and sloppy joes are on the menue as is popcorn and junior mints.

My mood is : cautiously optomistic and pms-ee. I need a spa day.

The great Audubon Backyard Bird Count Feb13-16th !!

http://www.birdsource.org/gbbc/

Today starts the annual winter bird count in North America – if you have never done this – it is wonderful and fun. If you have kids – you will not want to miss this chance to participate in a live counting of birds by backyard birders. Go to the above link for more information. I am sorry I did not post this sooner. I have been a bit wonky lately, Fires, floods, tornadoes, people loosing their jobs. I feel like I want to just hide out with the nuns and pray all day for the world to be saved. Instead it has been massive Valentines work for the grades and kids. Valentines was always such a sweet holiday and now it seems like a competion. Mabey I just never noticed it before.

Anyway, get out there in Nature this weekend and count some birds – print your certificate and have joy in the fact that we still have Chickadees and Cardinals and Owls and Hawks.

What is your favorite bird? Be sure to enter the photo contest!!

All those opera lessons…

My daughter the Opera singer – has chosen to Waldorf home school for the last semester of High School.  She wanted to go straight to work – she sings at weddings and is busy doing voice overs. Sadly no interest in college which made me weep but it is her choice in the end. She plays the harp and is mean as a snake very stong, focused and independant. She is an excellent student of the arts, science and history. We have spent a small fortune over the years on music lessons. These kinds of investments pay off in many ways. I am hoping that our country will think of investing in our nations children in the same fashion.

She is moving to Japan this summer and I am so …..so beyond happy for her future. She wishes to study music and travel with her friends. Plan B is she is also studying to be a Pastery Chef (lucky us!!)

My treasure. No time for boys or nonsense and stupid frivolity – she is all music and poetry, anime and Korean pop stars – her friends also. A cult of good girls with lovely manners and a sense of community. Not interested in the latest fashion thing they can waste money on or how their hair and makeup look. Sort of high tech vegetarian hippies with robots and organic Kiss my face products.

She and her best friend also have this “major” crush on the Flight of the Concords – I mean “major” and on the weekends here it is folk song city and all about baking with giggly girls.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=405786981

Major. The sweetness fills the air like a baby’s laughter. There is no greater sound…even when they get older. I am a lucky mum. I feel very braggy because I was listening to her songs and thinking how it is to be young and just starting the journey. Remember?

Lets dance a little. Remember?

Okay that’s all I am tired now. Dream company needs a Dance Floor.

My dream Publishing Company.

I will add to this as I go. When I grow up and start my own Publishing company I am going to use a few companies as inspiration.

First Google’s offices in Zurich. It’s Metacafe just click it.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1332537/google_office_zurich/

Another is this lake/ocean view room. Yes that is right I think we will build underwater too. Why not. I think we will have some places for the employees to live as well as work, if they want or are visiting from other countries.

Being gracious at all times…

Bran reminded me of something I ment to do this year. Which is being more gracious at all times. Easy to say – hard to do. It will get you far if you can master the gracious nature.

My dear husband game me a nice edition of the Zombie Survival Guide last year for my birthday. What I really always want is flowers and candy. I am well known for believing in Zombies and the living dead so he thought it was a cute, quarky gift. I thought it was … frankly a bit odd. Also my friends and I read this book when it came out a few years ago in our reading group and he did not seem to remember. Strike two. I was not gracious and really what would it have hurt to just love that he acknowledged my birthday and took the time to find a thoughtful gift.

Not amused.

I found it a bit to easy, walk into the Barnes and Noble, stumble around glassy eyed and pick up a zombie book. See, not being gracious already.

Actually upon thinking about it. Forget  being gracious. I have to put up with Crazy and I mean Crazy neurotic Girl Scout moms and very strange uber religious types all the time and my graciousness quota is growing thin. I need to save it for my kids and their teachers. My nana and aunties, the switch to DTV, the loss of Saturns rings and Masterpiece Theater, which made me cry and cry tonight watching http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/  Tess of the d’Urbervilles.

So gracious most of the time it is. Certainly up for teaching Zombies some manners.

Gratitude Journals and Resolutions.

It is almost the end of the year and it would be nice to pay all our bills to balance zero and be good to the environment and our selves. Be kind to the children and the animals. I am going to make all the kids (even my grumpy teen) a gratitude journal and have us all try to write at least three things a day in it that we are grateful for. I watched a Brain program called – Happy for no reason on PBS – over the weekend that talked about Neuroplasicity and the re-wiring of the brain. My little ones were the focus of my interest in this research. “The Secret” (a book and DVD) is still the rage with everyone jumping on this band wagon – but like most things it is simply repackaged ancient wisdom (or common sense) I found it a bit empty. I like the more scientific approach.

 James Allen in 1902 wrote a very popular book called “As A Man thinketh”. Pretty much the Secret without the splashy video and nature scenes. Mr. Allen was inspired by a passage from Proverbs in the King James version of the Bible. There is also the same theory in the Dhammapada and many many others throughout the texts of time. What you think and how you think it and what you are focused on becomes your life. (uh duh). But it is good to be reminded and to have a treasure map for your mind to help you in this most obvious of practices. So back to Neuroplasicity, my game addled children’s minds are not creating the pathways that will eventually lead to greater creativity and out of the DS box thinking unless I jump start them into varied and new experiences. I am not talking jumping out of a plane or having them battle to the death with homemade swords but I am going to try and think of simple – easy things that they can do each day that will light the fires of  thinking, learning, and acting.  If only just building a tent in the living room this long vacation on one of our no tech days.

For most of us moms I can say it is a busy hard world that we live in and our children are surrounded by so much stimulus that makes it convient for us to leave it to the children to entertain themselves. But it is not like it was only a few short years ago. Their entertainment is increasingly fed to them – prepackaged. They may make some small descisions but the creativity and imagination is filtered and watered down. This goes for us adults too – we all need to push away from the tech table from time to time and take long walks, go to museums and try new things. I am very guilty of just working all the time and not getting out in the world. I hope this inspires you to get out and about too. Some of my favorite bloggers have sites where the person is really exploring their environments and cities and themselves. If you get a chance to watch the PBS show Happy for No reason or you can rent The Dali Lama – Richard Davidson interview on changing your thinking changing your mind – please do. You will be inspired. So for resolutions I think I want to have my family try one new thing a week – experience not just food or books or movies but to do one thing we have never done before. It will be interesting to try. Here’s to the year 2009 Year of the Brain!

Rest ye Merry

 

Happy Holidays to you!

Snow Day 08

My vintage paper nativity that we set up before the annual addition of Star Wars creatures, Penguins and Beany Stuffies and Bratz dolls. We watched the little drummer boy while putting it up and I just love that animation.

Snow day today – The early start of Christmas VayK – The robotic message came this morning about 5:30. All schools closed and it is an official snowday. Everyone here at home has colds so it is an easy quiet day filled with rest and soft comforts and I am making chicken soup and then enchilladas for our Christmas Eve dinner where we do a sort of TexMex thing.
My family always does this Xmas Eve of the Dead kind of ancestor worshippy feel celebration…I love the mexican Xmas eve dinner it is the perfect send off to the old year.
The menue is :Tamales which I usually buy but if the weather stays yucky will have to make them. Spanish Rice, Veggies, enchilladas, tacos and chalupas and sophapias. Chicken nachos and the good hot cheese dip. Chocolate oreo cookie pie. We are not vegetarian but when I was we just skipped the meat and had more beans and corn. For the Solstice this weekend I wanted to make Turkey again because Thanksgiving was wonderful and I let the kids all pick a thing to make that was special to the harvest festival and to set their own tradition. So we have the beautiful bird thawing – sweet thing, she was my pick. My youngest picked Shrimp Cocktail and plans to marry a Shrimp farmer she says so she will never be without shrimps. My Son picked MacNCheese that he will make with his father and use more cheese than humans should eat in a year and teenPM wants an assortment of Pie in honor of the Goddess – so chocolates and fruited pies it is topped with glorious homemade whipped cream.

We are into canning and stocking up for winter so we are able to do the fruits but if we were to stick with what is seasonal I am afraid my kids would be on an ice diet with some rabbit and squirrel. Again I am amazed at the women of the past, when in the winter everyday was a snowday.
We decorated the tree – which we bought at Walmart two days ago knowing that this year we will not be able to get to the tree farm once this storm settles in for the weekend. It was 13.dollars and I think it is beautiful and in no way think I am selling out to Walmart and its ever increasing grasp around the neck of the american consumer. They were from a local farm and quite lovely. Though filling up the stockings with garbage from China that is probalbly painted with lead paint by children is not going to happen. I will celebrate Sams original mission and hope with this tree.
It is snowing now still. Ten inches since last night midnight but it seems like a lot more.
We have watched Christmas Movies while we decorate and cook – me the chicken soup and stuff and the kids cookies. The Little Drummer Boy, Santa Came to town, Polar Express, and now the Grinch with Jim Carrey which has them hypnotised. Nightmare before Xmas is next and then the Nutcracker. A Christmas Carol marathon of every version will be on the agenda for tonight. Princess Mononoke (which is what I call my teen) is off with her teengirl gamer nerd friends playing Left for Dead and Halo singing Xmas songs and freezing on their errand to the post office for me in exchange for an early solstice present (Left for dead ho-ho happy zombie game and latte money). I think the Hogfather might actually be next before Nightmare. I love its sardonic British humor.
I wish you and yours a Happy Merry Solstice and the magic that it brings. Remember the light is coming. Dance around your tree if you can. We like to put it out a bit from the wall for just such an occasion should the mood strike. Dog, cats, kids – it usually does.
It feels more Happy Holiday with a tree. “Sympathetic magic by the Pagans” Sheldon said  on “The Big Bang” how true, how true. It was lovely that this year my children who are all avid witches and wizards ask about the symbolism of the tree and how it is conncected to Jesus and Mary and the manger – in the desert. And the whole Jesus was Jewish are we celebrating Hannuka this year (why of course we can says I) I found some Dreidels and chocolate coins at the World Market. We have our advent calanders which mark the time till “Santas Birthday” according to the wee ones. We are learning about candle magic and incense and Frankincense and Muir. The three wise men – obviously magic men are of great interest to my children. Persian Maji and Asian Sorcercers who knew about Astronomy – whats not to like for young witches and wizards? A Miracle Birth of a baby protected by its devoted family, Mary the Virgin symbol of the Goddess across so much time – letting us Witches worship her in all her glory unscathed. I love this season as much as Easter and enjoy the rest of the world sharing in hope and love and family – as much as they are enjoying the myths created by Coca-Cola and Macys.
Everything is in a blanket of white and my heart and prayers of peace go out to the world and especially my sisters on the East Coast, may their bon fires light up the night and the season.

Peace on Earth and off as well.

For tommorows Film Festival A marathon of  Hayao Miyazaki of Studio Ghibli in honor of the Solstice.