Dear Diary – (that anyone in the Universe could read if they so wanted)…
It has been a long February. Girl Scout meetings with the helpers from hell, Kiwanis Speech in a loud and busy restaurant where I was interrupted about ten times, seriously harshing my environmental mellow. Dickens papers to grade and poetry to teach, Snow to battle and economic crisis looming around every corner. The end of eras – no more L word or time spent alone.
The treaty negotiations between my other half and myself continues as to who is paying less quality attention at night to the children. We all know the answer to that one. Who is the video game addict in the house? (Hint – not me) but then I refuse to clean their rooms for them so I am neglectful also.
Bitter much? Indeed but I think every moment should be spent on making them better able to cope in life not teaching them to plug in and feed their desire for stimulation and distraction. Okay Diary moving on –
I have been fighting the winter doldrums and the white out snow effects on one’s eyes when you venture outside midafternoon and someone has absconded with your sunshades. Leaving you (me) blind for hours. It seems just evil that it should be so bright and yet so cold.
This month seems to be filled with things that can from one moment to the next make me burst into tears. Too much sun, not enough sun, Laundry left everywhere by everyone – but for only me to notice. I was not feeling very Valentiny. Was brought some delicious Starbucks and a card. Kids and I got lovely roses last week (I hate to spend money on roses during the big rush it just seems crazy so Seraph always brings them early). My little one was sick last week at the first of the school week and there was much throwing up on the carpet. Hand scrubbing and carpet shampoo-ed. More dishes than usual and I swear I am hearing bears breathing outside the windows at night. No not feeling the whole “Bliss filled be mine” sentiment.
But then last week helping the little ones with their amazing valentine creations that they would be sharing on their Friday the 13th party – I started to tear up realizing I perhaps had one more year of getting to help them, glue and color and trim – even purchase Valentine tokens for their classmates. I soaked in the moment and let Valentines wash over me. I opened to the spirit of Hallmark and chocolates.
My little boy is also having a hard time of it this year. Whereas he was very popular last year with girls in his class and even gave a few who adored him actual jewelry ( vintage rings and necklaces from my old shop), this year he is suffering with being labeled “disgusting”. It’s not just him, other boys are meeting the same fate as the dominate second grade girls decide they no longer can tolerate boys and that they want nothing to do with them. My dearest boy though is still in the liking girls’ mode and is at a loss as to why he can no longer play kickball with his good friends and why they would choose not to sit with him at lunch. I find the whole thing heartbreaking and the Valentines party was no better – obviously all parents making out Valentines so that no one would be left out – as is standard operating procedure. The girls were very haughty and stuck to themselves.
I tried to remember this time for my oldest – but she still liked boys and had mostly boy friends in our neighborhood. Being a Tom boy it was not until fifth grade that the boy hatred sank in and only seemed to last that one year.
My littlest still adores boys and they are adorable, kind and cute, small and quiet. Their valentines made out in their little six and seven year old hand. Her party was a whole different world and That is the magic of First grade. They are still equals and still kind.
I told my son that it will not be like this forever – the girls being so angry and annoyed with the boys. In fact there will be a time when he might even wish they were not paying quite so much attention to him. I doubt it, but I could tell that made him feel better. We seem to just have a batch of incredibly aggressive and hostile girls this year in his class. About half the parents are divorced. This is the same in my Girl Scout troop and it keeps me on my toes with all the politics and the maneuvering between parents – the political correctness and keeping each parent equally involved. Meetings and events can be so stress filled. I have first graders and we have group meetings with Boy scouts their ages –around four times a year, Green Party nature outings. I plan on everyone getting along and treating each other with respect. Even if they are sticky and pick their nose and sneeze and are really loud and push to get up front “Puppy dog tails” I tell the girls, snips and snails and we will get along with the boys.
Sugar and Spice and everything nice. That’s what little girls are made of. So everything nice it is.
I think it’s time for a new telling of that Nursery Rhyme.
So diary dear till the next holiday, I will say thank you for helping me to remember.