Summer reading, zombies and evil truths.

evil animal children

I have realized that all the wondergarden early waldorf training is true and I am at times just a horrid mom. My own mother was part Indian gypse grifter and the other part Scotts-Irish con woman. I myself am a self -absorbed artist type with to much education and to much spare time on my hands, as they say. Mabey not “Mommy dearest” but I am also not Olivia Walton (yet). I aspire to the levl of “momming” of the mom on Lost in Space. She had willful children but deep down they were peaches. Mine too. I have moments that I just want to scream at my children “What’s wrong with you?!?!”. Plus I get really crazy hormonal.

When I lived in California and the Santa Annas would come blasting through – you always felt a bit edgy. That is how I felt today…(and it is a bit windy).

I was hanging out the blankets to air them out before packing them away and it occured to me that my children are of my own making. I was still fuming at the tantrum episode the two of them (6 and 8 ) pulled while we went to the market for sloppy joe fixens and Pantene. It seems it was sample day and we went before lunch, after breakfast and my boy felt he needed many more samples of the deli pasta dish. Pouting because I said “No”, he was pressing his face against the glass of the frozen food pizzas and I snatched him by the ear to get his attention (after many come on’s) and he pulled back – and I pinched his ear instead of grasping it. I was already feeling like the worlds worst mother with spoiled out of control kids when he started to bawl like a two year old. My kids were always quite well behaved untill they started school. They are now of the minds that they are independant creatures with minds of their own and that their father and I are just there to make suggestions and mac-and-cheese.

“I hate you” my sweet boy said at the checkout. My six year old then said “Well I am being good right?” . This after fighting tooth and nail over who got to push the cart and grabbing everything in site to put into the cart – despite my saying ” Not today”.

No no no no no no. I just bagged everything in our World Market canvas totes and marched those kids out to the car and held my breath and tongue for the five minutes back to the house. I was so glad we had not walked today. Groceries carried into the house and then kids straight to their rooms so they could get busy cleaning them up.

My son came out of his room ‘I’m hungry”. my daughter next same thing. The teenager is at work or it would have been a trio of demands and needs not met.

Kids fed – sent outside to water and breathe, then back to their rooms. I began hanging out the blankets from their rooms. That is when it happened, when I realized my children are exactly reflections of who I am and what I have made them. Somewhere I have once again made them too independant ( my oldest is queen of that) and too sassy and hungry and argumentative. My baby girl is the sweetest child and truly a good girl. My oldest another girl – the same and though she is going through a mean streak of seperation,  I know who she is inside, all gravy and frosting.

My son though…I see he has some control issues. My evil truth is that I have not invested enough time with him on what is important – other than video games, math and science. I am stressing him out. I have to look deep inside to see this in me. In the beginning years at Waldorf we are trained to visit each family in their home setting to get a measure of who the family is and who the child is in the family. Each child. That is a lot of visits. After putting out the blankets to dry in the beautiful sun and with the glorious breeze I did a home visit to my own house. I looked at who I am as a mother and who these children are and where they are in the family and I see we need some work but we are all okay. We just need some fine tuning, some better organized rooms and not so much clutter, physically and mentally. To many video games and tellie.

Also, note to self … I need to never again take the kids to the store before they have had lunch and never after a marathon morning of Mario Cart on the Wii.


Everything is connecting or unconnecting to bring balance to our worlds. I forgot that for a moment.



The rest of the day we watered the garden and packed away more of winter, coats and heavy wool blankets and pillows, sweaters and toys. It is quiet and now and i have a moments of peace while they clean their rooms (or play). I ordered a  book on Amazon – Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance – Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem! (Paperback). I read the first few pages on amazon and laughed the whole time.  You have to read this – or of you have already please do share your thoughts. Thank you Charlaine for the referal!

Number one on the summer reading list – 09.


I am currently reading – Living Dead in Dallas, Movie night is tonight and sloppy joes are on the menue as is popcorn and junior mints.

My mood is : cautiously optomistic and pms-ee. I need a spa day.



Hallucinating summer…adjust your tongue box…

The kids feel it.

I feel it. That madness that it is time to wear shorts and swimsuits and lay in the sun or run through the sprinkler. The plants are starting to blast out of their earthly gates and the weather is thinking about cooperating.

In the weekly classroom newsletter – one of the teachers made note that “we need to keep the children focused. It is not summer yet and a few more weeks of school are still ahead.”

My children told me that they are done with school now and that it is time for fun.

I could not agree more.

I have been trying to decide a few things. I am at a crossroads career wise and the “jumping off point” is at hand. A mere three weeks away from this very day and I will have started down a new path. The road has ended and there are three new paths opening up. Which to take…which to take. I haven’t got a clue. I am sure though it was Miss Scarlett in the library with the candlestick.




Have a great weekend!

Movie night this weekend is showcasing Robinson Crusoe on Mars.

We were thinking about Barbarella but the kids are to young. We did watch the evil children doll attack on you tube though…that terrified me at the drive in when I was a child, watching the movie from the back of the station wagon at the Drive in.

Klaatu barada nikto

**Edit note** Just as we were getting ready to go we noticed the furnace did not seem to be working. Hubby checked the furnace , yep not on – hit the resent button on the old unit and gobs of BLACK foul smelling smoke filled our basement. Yuck! Now movie is off – heater answering service called and now I found out that we are in for some really Crappe weather , which is just so bizzare considering post from last night and the fact that all morning I was looking up survival cold weather proceedures for the possibility of loosing electricity in winter and all the Ice Storms blanketing the North causing wide spread outages. We have that here in Wisconsin too but I am not looking forward to it. We are breaking out the Sherpa Gear anyway for our Urban adventure. We did not notice the breakdown of the Furnace till it hit about 50 in the house- new cold weather conservation program and all that bit of bother. **

Calgary Harold Had a great article on Unicefs report on the state of Children in Canada, “Children are first and foremost their family’s concern, not the state’s.” quote from the article which walks the fence so delicately giving the double speak approval of Governments responsibility with the parents as the ultimate scapegoat. We face many of the same problems here in the states and here in Wisconsin the rash of accidental child deaths due to being left in childcare Vans is unacceptable. I would like to see in our lifetime a world wide movement towards protecting our futures greatest resource. The Children. I am a complete fascist and believe in a totalitarian state where the Mother State oversees the welfare of all her citizens. I think this can be done easily by using Robots.
Husband is taking me to see The Day the Earth Stood Still. I am getting ready for the coming salvation.

From what I understand these Aliens with the bug eyes are the semi-good guys, the Reptillian ones are the ones that capture people and breed them to eat. Then there are greys who know one knows yet what they are. Here is the the thing though. A recent mass sighting of “Dragon creatures” all over the world, underground. Even here where yesterday morning as we were going out on errands there was a horriable smell that was coming from underground Sewer gases – the explanation only the affected area was huge – crossing counties. I believe in Dragons, and aliens and things we can not see. It might seem silly to some, I am sure electricity and microbs were considered to be a lunatics imaginings at one time too. Just because you dont see something does not mean its not there. Have a lovely week.

Its a winter wonderland…but there are monsters.


Scary short film – I love the new media. We can all be film makers of sorts.

Panic of 1837

Those who refuse to remember History are doomed to reapeat it – as is the case before the 1930s there was the Panic of 1837 So hold on, these things are cyclical. This is not the second Depression , and it won’t be the last. But, there will be something good to come of it – it’s as if they are planned. The immortals of the Illuminati have some major plans in the next few years it seems.


Islamic Force Time Zone…

Its like they knew what is coming. I suppose it is pretty obvious to people who study World History and The Tides of War.
Incuding War on the Planet.

I miss the days of Main Stream Politically Meanigful music – I do not think songs about “hooking up” in bars and leading the gangsta Hollywood lifestyle
are going to live for very long.
But who knows – music is such a subjective thing. Like the sense of smell – certain sents, certain smells can take us back instantly to our childhood and times of
great rememberance.
I imagine though that those Universally themed sense memories – cut grass, cookies baking, Holiday music and the things that made us dance or cry
will be the things that last a hundred years.
U2 is still plugging away but I really could not think of anyone else. Oldest daughter informs me we are now going to listen to some Keane – ColdPlay and some Elton John and the Gorillaz and DBSK.

Long way around economics…

I get this. I know what they are saying but I just do not agree with it. The trickle down effect is not a realistic practice. Good in theory but in reality if your child is hungry and needs new shoes a few bridges and the nice thought that in five to ten years more kids will be able to eat or not have cold feet just does not resinate with immediate need.
I think it is very much a theory where economists try to do the truly best thing but the long way is not helping shell shocked american families in the now.
I do like this video. The CBS – Sunday Morning people always tickle my fancy and I do get it.
I just happen not to agree. 

So if you give my family a hundred dollars – we are not going out to eat as is discussed in the video. We would most likely pay our electricty or buy winter shoes for the children. Buy soup or fruit for juice. Most likely we would put it towards the childrens lunches and breakfast, ensuring their ability to be well nourished and able to pay attention in school – helping them to behave and learn. In the future they will then be able to go on to Uni and get better jobs and will be healthy because they could run and play when they were children. Leading to better health of mind and body. Their parents marriage stayed together because there was not so much stress and they were able to relaxe and get along. The trickle up effect in full flow – up stream in that as a family we contribute more to the community not just with money but with time and consideration. The answer is not more debt. Infrustructure should be a States issue. Much like getting the trash taken out in your town is up to your Mayor. The Federal government should see to the people themselves and make sure every child has an education and is fed and clothed. Safety is a local, state, and federal issue.  

Health issues should be thought of in this same fashion. Just as you have police and fire dept. every person – especially children – should have health care. This is easily solved by having Health facilities in schools. They already have councelors for their minds and spirits – just include a team of regulated MDs. Easy peezey.   You see where I am going with this? A bridge to the future. Let the states build the roads.

If we had given every American a million dollars it would still have been less money than they have given to the financial institutions and I just bet there would have been some amazing trickle up stories. Mabey use some of that money to support soldiers and their families as was promised. It is ridiculous how they are being treated – services cut. Health care poor – facilities rotting or nonexsistant. How about building up that infrustructure.

Children and Health Care first. Corporations and Lobbyists last please. Now pass  the gravy.

Messy morning.


Cannot find the camera but leave it to say this…

Two little kids – a Jug of Milk, Can of ovaltine (Brand new) and two tiny batman glasses.

“Mom taste our chocolate milk” I look up from my work and they are covered…covered in a thick chocolate mess. oh…. no…. their giant kitchen spoons just dripping.    Everywhere.

I run to the kitchen and there it is a giant ovaltine dust mess with a trail leading into the living room Sponge Bob Party. Oblivious kids singing and dancing.

3/4 of the Ovaltine has been packed into two tiny glasses. It has somehow turned into a syrup – thick and chocolaty and they are covered with it.

Ovaltine and Milk put up out of reach – children given hot cloths to clean up the mess…oh the mess….me mumbling down the hall – three spoonfuls not 53…. Children now cleaning their rooms. Needful things on Scifi is now the Party background sound.

oh the horror.

the horror.

Big Plans… Four for Friday

Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men’s blood and probably

themselves will not be realized. Make big plans; aim high in hope and work.

Daniel Burnham


 . . . be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions

themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a foreign tongue.

Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet 


 If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life

which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.

Henry David Thoreau



 The Ugly Duckling was so happy and in some way he was glad that he had experienced so much hardship and misery; for now he could fully appreciate his tremendous luck and the great beauty that greeted him.

. . . And he rustled his feathers, held his long neck high, and with deep emotion he said: “I never dreamt of so much happiness, when I was the Ugly Duckling!”

Hans Christian Anderson, The Ugly Duckling

Infinity theory



I always heard it was twelve monkeys then a hundred monkeys but then it became an ifinite army of monkeys….
This parable of the Monkeys and their creativity goes back years – I have found French references to this theory dating back to:
Borel, 1913
… Concevons qu’on ait dressé un million de singes à frapper au hasard sur les touches d’une machine à écrire et que, sous la surveillance de contremaîtres illettrés, ces singes dactylographes travaillent avec ardeur dix heures par jour avec un million de machines à écrire de types variés. Les contremaîtres illettrés rassembleraient les feuilles noircies et les relieraient en volumes. Et au bout d’un an, ces volumes se trouveraient renfermer la copie exacte des livres de toute nature et de toutes langues conservés dans les plus riches bibliothèques du monde. Telle est la probabilité pour qu’il se produise pendant un instant très court, dans un espace de quelque étendue, un écart notable de ce que la mécanique statistique considère comme la phénomène le plus probable…
Émile Borel, “Mécanique Statistique et Irréversibilité,” J. Phys. 5e série, vol. 3, 1913, pp.189-196.

The whole Monkey thing still gets me – the theory that if you put an infinite number of monkeys into a space with infinite numbers of typewriters for an infinite amount of time and that they would come up with Shakespeare’s collected works is often attributed to Thomas Huxley, a 19th-century disciple of Charles Darwin— and supported in an essay by William Dembski
“Let me put it this way. Huxley’s example presupposes an
Intelligence familiar with the works of Shakespeare. At the
same time Huxley wants to demonstrate that random processes,
the typing of monkeys, can account for the works of
Shakespeare. Thus Huxley’s example is supposed to show that
the works of Shakespeare can be accounted for apart from the
person of Shakespeare. Huxley wants it both ways. An
intelligence must be on hand to know when the monkeys have
typed Hamlet, and yet Hamlet is to stand in need of no
author. This is known as having your cake and eating
it. Polite society frowns on such obvious bad taste.”


The theory starts now to define even the existence of a “communal consciousness” or God. The theory in its onion like layers begs to be taken further into debate as to the very intention of why it would be necessary to even have monkeys reproduce Shakespeare. What starts out as a little evolutionary joke becomes almost sinister in its theory.

No proof of this literary mathematical theorem exists before Huxley – it seems to reach back into time but must coincide with the invention of the Typewriter. Were there typewriters in Huxley’s time (4 May 1825 – 29 June 1895)? Yes the Mass marketed Typewriter was invented by E. Remington & Sons who moved from Ilion, NY from 1874-1878 to right here in Wisconsin to mass produce their diabolical creation (there were writing machines before this time but not available for purchase). There was a patent fight with Edison but that is a different story. There has been access to Monkeys going back to the Romans so clues lie with the Typewriter – now the story takes on a technological overtone . No typewriters = no infinite theory. Technology=Infinity. We are getting dangerously close to Robot Typewriter Overlords now.

There are the theoretical computations of the Monkey Shakespeare question – Nick Hoggard, a British computer programmer living in Sweden, decided to put the theory to the test.
Hoggard designed “The Monkey Shakespeare Simulator,” (which can no longer be found online) to find out how many lines of Shakespeare a group of hypothetical simians could come up with if given a limitless amount of time.
“I got the idea from the SETI@home software, which examines radio waves for signs of extraterrestrial life,” Hoggard says. “I thought I would apply the same idea to examine random rubbish that monkeys type for signs of Shakespeare.”
Rubbish indeed it is my feeling that his site was taken down by the government – something very fishy about monkey simulators – army applications no doubt with monkeys as warriors with guns, or poetic mind powers. Very Planet of the Apes.

But there is a lighter side to all this.

Comedian Bob Newhart had a stand-up routine in which a lab technician monitoring an “infinitely many monkeys” experiment discovered that one of the monkeys has typed something of interest. A typical punch line would be: “Hey, Harry! This one looks a little famous: ‘To be or not to be — that is thegrrdnm zsplkt.
The very concept of infinity is as mind boggling as the concept of zero. I truly believe there can be no zero. It is impossible for nothing to exist in a space – there is always something, even the thought of something if indeed “thoughts” have energy – you are then thinking of something and zero again cannot exist. Can there be an infinite number of things? It is the infinite improbability drive in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy that saves Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect from certain death by asphyxiation in deep space after being thrown out of the Vogon ship; the improbable odds against being rescued being two raised to the power of the Islington (London) flat phone number where Arthur had met Tricia McMillan, aka Trillian, who is aboard the Heart of Gold with Zaphod Beeblebrox. Incidentally, Adams explained in the annotated volume of the original radio scripts that it was the eviction of Arthur and Ford out the space lock of the Vogon ship that led to his own “invention” of the Infinite Improbability Drive. Adams realized that he had worked the story into a dead end, thinking in frustration that the only solutions would be “infinitely improbable.” In a flash of insight and what Adams called “mental jujitsu”, the Infinite Improbability Drive was born.
In the third book, the Infinite Improbability Drive is discovered to be the Golden Bail of Prosperity in the Wikkit Gate. It is stolen by the white Krikkit robots, however, it was returned and the Heart of Gold returned to operational status.
An earlier attempt at using the improbability drive, Starship Titanic, was also mentioned. In theory, the infinite improbability drive would make it infinitely improbable that anything would go wrong. It was not successful, however, ending in a “Spontaneous Massive Existence Failure.” This was because, in these earlier times when the nature of improbability was less well understood, it was not appreciated that any event that is infinitely improbable will, by definition, “occur almost immediately.”

I do not believe that Massive Existence Failure could ever happen. I also think that it is time to update the Monkey theorem to modern times.
Only one Genetically Cloned Altered Monkey on one computer could create the works of Shakespeare. Where is Shakespeare buried again? And our monkey….his name is William of course.
GCAM + technology = infinity
The future is ours…


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