Summer reading, zombies and evil truths.

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I have realized that all the wondergarden early waldorf training is true and I am at times just a horrid mom. My own mother was part Indian gypse grifter and the other part Scotts-Irish con woman. I myself am a self -absorbed artist type with to much education and to much spare time on my hands, as they say. Mabey not “Mommy dearest” but I am also not Olivia Walton (yet). I aspire to the levl of “momming” of the mom on Lost in Space. She had willful children but deep down they were peaches. Mine too. I have moments that I just want to scream at my children “What’s wrong with you?!?!”. Plus I get really crazy hormonal.

When I lived in California and the Santa Annas would come blasting through – you always felt a bit edgy. That is how I felt today…(and it is a bit windy).

I was hanging out the blankets to air them out before packing them away and it occured to me that my children are of my own making. I was still fuming at the tantrum episode the two of them (6 and 8 ) pulled while we went to the market for sloppy joe fixens and Pantene. It seems it was sample day and we went before lunch, after breakfast and my boy felt he needed many more samples of the deli pasta dish. Pouting because I said “No”, he was pressing his face against the glass of the frozen food pizzas and I snatched him by the ear to get his attention (after many come on’s) and he pulled back – and I pinched his ear instead of grasping it. I was already feeling like the worlds worst mother with spoiled out of control kids when he started to bawl like a two year old. My kids were always quite well behaved untill they started school. They are now of the minds that they are independant creatures with minds of their own and that their father and I are just there to make suggestions and mac-and-cheese.

“I hate you” my sweet boy said at the checkout. My six year old then said “Well I am being good right?” . This after fighting tooth and nail over who got to push the cart and grabbing everything in site to put into the cart – despite my saying ” Not today”.

No no no no no no. I just bagged everything in our World Market canvas totes and marched those kids out to the car and held my breath and tongue for the five minutes back to the house. I was so glad we had not walked today. Groceries carried into the house and then kids straight to their rooms so they could get busy cleaning them up.

My son came out of his room ‘I’m hungry”. my daughter next same thing. The teenager is at work or it would have been a trio of demands and needs not met.

Kids fed – sent outside to water and breathe, then back to their rooms. I began hanging out the blankets from their rooms. That is when it happened, when I realized my children are exactly reflections of who I am and what I have made them. Somewhere I have once again made them too independant ( my oldest is queen of that) and too sassy and hungry and argumentative. My baby girl is the sweetest child and truly a good girl. My oldest another girl – the same and though she is going through a mean streak of seperation,  I know who she is inside, all gravy and frosting.

My son though…I see he has some control issues. My evil truth is that I have not invested enough time with him on what is important – other than video games, math and science. I am stressing him out. I have to look deep inside to see this in me. In the beginning years at Waldorf we are trained to visit each family in their home setting to get a measure of who the family is and who the child is in the family. Each child. That is a lot of visits. After putting out the blankets to dry in the beautiful sun and with the glorious breeze I did a home visit to my own house. I looked at who I am as a mother and who these children are and where they are in the family and I see we need some work but we are all okay. We just need some fine tuning, some better organized rooms and not so much clutter, physically and mentally. To many video games and tellie.

Also, note to self … I need to never again take the kids to the store before they have had lunch and never after a marathon morning of Mario Cart on the Wii.

Connection.

Everything is connecting or unconnecting to bring balance to our worlds. I forgot that for a moment.

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The rest of the day we watered the garden and packed away more of winter, coats and heavy wool blankets and pillows, sweaters and toys. It is quiet and now and i have a moments of peace while they clean their rooms (or play). I ordered a  book on Amazon – Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance – Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem! (Paperback). I read the first few pages on amazon and laughed the whole time.  You have to read this – or of you have already please do share your thoughts. Thank you Charlaine for the referal!

Number one on the summer reading list – 09.

PaPaz

I am currently reading – Living Dead in Dallas, Movie night is tonight and sloppy joes are on the menue as is popcorn and junior mints.

My mood is : cautiously optomistic and pms-ee. I need a spa day.

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Hallucinating summer…adjust your tongue box…

The kids feel it.

I feel it. That madness that it is time to wear shorts and swimsuits and lay in the sun or run through the sprinkler. The plants are starting to blast out of their earthly gates and the weather is thinking about cooperating.

In the weekly classroom newsletter – one of the teachers made note that “we need to keep the children focused. It is not summer yet and a few more weeks of school are still ahead.”

My children told me that they are done with school now and that it is time for fun.

I could not agree more.

I have been trying to decide a few things. I am at a crossroads career wise and the “jumping off point” is at hand. A mere three weeks away from this very day and I will have started down a new path. The road has ended and there are three new paths opening up. Which to take…which to take. I haven’t got a clue. I am sure though it was Miss Scarlett in the library with the candlestick.

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Have a great weekend!

Movie night this weekend is showcasing Robinson Crusoe on Mars.

We were thinking about Barbarella but the kids are to young. We did watch the evil children doll attack on you tube though…that terrified me at the drive in when I was a child, watching the movie from the back of the station wagon at the Drive in.

Simply not logical – Star Trek Spoilers!!!

http://www.nasa.gov/multimedia/nasatv/index.html
Space Shuttle is off and it is throttle up.
I have been very busy, this is the busy season for me.
Hope you had a wonderful Mothers day. I’ll need to do some catching up on the blogoshere as to what has been happening with my muses.
Saw Star Trek yesterday. A definate treat. If you have not seen it please do not read on….
What the …. ???????
Blow up Vulcan???? Are you mad you crazy Klingon loven writers????? I mean really what the heck????
Great movie but really….what? I’m sorry….No…..Not logical.
All ends in music and merry skipping along. See you next movie.
WHAT???????? Are you all INSANE?
Hey lets just blow up Vulcan. We dont need that planet in the mythology, the Vulcans served their purpose in moving the story along.

I need a few minutes in a room with those writers and a lipau mu’yor. I did not blow up Romulus why on earth would the writers, producers and the craft service people (obviously who serve krada leg and Rokeg blood pie no doubt next to the twinkies) make me watch then blow up Vulcan. Thanks alot Nero.
You all better hope that Bad Spock doesn’t find out what you have done. Oh I am so not happy about this.

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