Summer reading, zombies and evil truths.

evil animal children

I have realized that all the wondergarden early waldorf training is true and I am at times just a horrid mom. My own mother was part Indian gypse grifter and the other part Scotts-Irish con woman. I myself am a self -absorbed artist type with to much education and to much spare time on my hands, as they say. Mabey not “Mommy dearest” but I am also not Olivia Walton (yet). I aspire to the levl of “momming” of the mom on Lost in Space. She had willful children but deep down they were peaches. Mine too. I have moments that I just want to scream at my children “What’s wrong with you?!?!”. Plus I get really crazy hormonal.

When I lived in California and the Santa Annas would come blasting through – you always felt a bit edgy. That is how I felt today…(and it is a bit windy).

I was hanging out the blankets to air them out before packing them away and it occured to me that my children are of my own making. I was still fuming at the tantrum episode the two of them (6 and 8 ) pulled while we went to the market for sloppy joe fixens and Pantene. It seems it was sample day and we went before lunch, after breakfast and my boy felt he needed many more samples of the deli pasta dish. Pouting because I said “No”, he was pressing his face against the glass of the frozen food pizzas and I snatched him by the ear to get his attention (after many come on’s) and he pulled back – and I pinched his ear instead of grasping it. I was already feeling like the worlds worst mother with spoiled out of control kids when he started to bawl like a two year old. My kids were always quite well behaved untill they started school. They are now of the minds that they are independant creatures with minds of their own and that their father and I are just there to make suggestions and mac-and-cheese.

“I hate you” my sweet boy said at the checkout. My six year old then said “Well I am being good right?” . This after fighting tooth and nail over who got to push the cart and grabbing everything in site to put into the cart – despite my saying ” Not today”.

No no no no no no. I just bagged everything in our World Market canvas totes and marched those kids out to the car and held my breath and tongue for the five minutes back to the house. I was so glad we had not walked today. Groceries carried into the house and then kids straight to their rooms so they could get busy cleaning them up.

My son came out of his room ‘I’m hungry”. my daughter next same thing. The teenager is at work or it would have been a trio of demands and needs not met.

Kids fed – sent outside to water and breathe, then back to their rooms. I began hanging out the blankets from their rooms. That is when it happened, when I realized my children are exactly reflections of who I am and what I have made them. Somewhere I have once again made them too independant ( my oldest is queen of that) and too sassy and hungry and argumentative. My baby girl is the sweetest child and truly a good girl. My oldest another girl – the same and though she is going through a mean streak of seperation,  I know who she is inside, all gravy and frosting.

My son though…I see he has some control issues. My evil truth is that I have not invested enough time with him on what is important – other than video games, math and science. I am stressing him out. I have to look deep inside to see this in me. In the beginning years at Waldorf we are trained to visit each family in their home setting to get a measure of who the family is and who the child is in the family. Each child. That is a lot of visits. After putting out the blankets to dry in the beautiful sun and with the glorious breeze I did a home visit to my own house. I looked at who I am as a mother and who these children are and where they are in the family and I see we need some work but we are all okay. We just need some fine tuning, some better organized rooms and not so much clutter, physically and mentally. To many video games and tellie.

Also, note to self … I need to never again take the kids to the store before they have had lunch and never after a marathon morning of Mario Cart on the Wii.

Connection.

Everything is connecting or unconnecting to bring balance to our worlds. I forgot that for a moment.

connection

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The rest of the day we watered the garden and packed away more of winter, coats and heavy wool blankets and pillows, sweaters and toys. It is quiet and now and i have a moments of peace while they clean their rooms (or play). I ordered a  book on Amazon – Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance – Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem! (Paperback). I read the first few pages on amazon and laughed the whole time.  You have to read this – or of you have already please do share your thoughts. Thank you Charlaine for the referal!

Number one on the summer reading list – 09.

PaPaz

I am currently reading – Living Dead in Dallas, Movie night is tonight and sloppy joes are on the menue as is popcorn and junior mints.

My mood is : cautiously optomistic and pms-ee. I need a spa day.

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happymom

Happy Birthday Jacob…

grimmon2Though my blog says it is Jan 5th for me in the Midwest it is still Jan 4th 7pm. and Jan. 4th is Jacob Grimm’s birthday and for me there is many a reason to rejoice in this day. As a child I loved reading Grimm’s fairy Tales – as much as Hans Christian Anderson’s lovely stories of brave children and harsh times. Edith Hamilton’s books on Mythology would round out my fantasy world and my parents were lucky if I came out of these imaginary lives for even a moment. I would sit in my club house closet or lay outside on the lawn under the oak trees and read all weekend till it was dark and sometimes with a candle or flashlight. My favorite stories were the ones of Princesses and of little brothers and sisters battling forces to save one another. National Geographic’s site on the Grimms Fairy Tales is truly a great tribute and lots of fun to do with or without kids. For my kids I have collected these books in Hardbound gold edged editions found for cheap on Amazon or at used book sales over the years.

January is a bleak time in the Northern Hem. the skies tend more towards grey. The air is crispsometimes biting, but there are many interesting things to do and people to celebrate. Here are some January Links for you and yours, mostly kid related.

The time of Brigid draws ever closer and in our Wiccan communities many of us scrub every inch of our houses from top to bottom with magical concocotions of natural cleansers and sacred salts preparing for Imbolic, myself included. No light task with the old man winter still howling through the cracks reminding us he is still here a bit longer. Whispery night winds move across the windows leaving behind their icey feathery songs.
MidWinter approaches and the days will be filled with school and making candles and soaps, taking down the Yule/Christmas décor and changing the focus towards the coming of Spring.
It is time to reach deep inside and reflect on the quiet Earth. Feel the bulbs reach out their roots and the trees dreaming – beginning to awake. Animals carrying their young soon to be born. The time of bonfires and goal setting. The lake move under its heavy coat of ice, the rivers shiver in their winter slumber.

It is has been a very nice Winter vacation filled with Wizard 101 and games for the kids and books and movies for mommy. I do feel the hope that is just over the horizon so many are yearning for. I do believe that this will be a wonderful year. Dear Jacob would love these times we live in. Like one of his stories we are moving through the days of fear and sorrow towards a softer time and a safer tommorow. I wish you all Happy Endings. May you live Happily Ever after. (Even you poor old witches – that’s another story for another day)

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grimmfairytales7snowwhitethesevendw I do rather like the Zenescope comic book “retold” stories of the Grimm fairy Tales and I did like the recent movie though I do not care for Matt Damon one fig – I adore Heath Ledger and love love love Terry Gilliam, and Monica Bellucci whom I have had a huge crush on since the Matrix – she is my “perfect woman” in my imagination. Equal to her beauty is Guy Dyas’s amazing Production Design. grimms-brothers
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Going to the ball…

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Red Queen, and White Queen, and Alice, and all — Illustration to the ninth chapter of Through the Looking Glass by John Tenniel. Wood-engraving by the Dalziels.

‘I didn’t know I was to have a party at all,’ said Alice; ‘but if there is to be one, I think I ought to invite the guests.’

‘We gave you the opportunity of doing it,’ the Red Queen remarked: ‘but I daresay you’ve not had many lessons in manners yet?’

‘Manners are not taught in lessons,’ said Alice. ‘Lessons teach you to do sums, and things of that sort.’

‘And you do Addition?’ the White Queen asked. ‘What’s one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one and one?’

‘I don’t know,’ said Alice. ‘I lost count.’

‘She can’t do Addition,’ the Red Queen interrupted. ‘Can you do Subtraction? Take nine from eight.’

‘Nine from eight I can’t, you know,’ Alice replied very readily: ‘but — ‘

‘She can’t do Subtraction,’ said the White Queen. ‘Can you do Division? Divide a loaf by a knife — what’s the answer to that?’ 

‘I suppose — ‘ Alice was beginning, but the Red Queen answered for her. ‘Bread-and-butter, of course. Try another Subtraction sum. Take a bone from a dog: what remains?’

Alice considered. ‘The bone wouldn’t remain, of course, if I took it — and the dog wouldn’t remain; it would come to bite me — and I’m sure I shouldn’t remain!’

‘Then you think nothing would remain?’ said the Red Queen.

‘I think that’s the answer.’

‘Wrong, as usual,’ said the Red Queen: ‘the dog’s temper would remain.’

‘But I don’t see how — ‘

‘Why, look here!’ the Red Queen cried. ‘The dog would lose its temper, wouldn’t it?’

‘Perhaps it would,’ Alice replied cautiously.

‘Then if the dog went away, its temper would remain!’ the Queen exclaimed triumphantly.

Alice said, as gravely as she could, ‘They might go different ways.’ But she couldn’t help thinking to herself, ‘What dreadful nonsense we are talking!’

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hush-a-by lady, in Alice’s lap!
Till the feast’s ready, we’ve time for a nap.
When the feast’s over, we’ll go to the ball —
Red Queen, and White Queen, and Alice, and all!”

They’ll love it in Pomona.

It snowed over the weekend but did not stick.

I am loving the HBO series True Blood but I wanted to read the books which you can buy as a set now at Amazon. Sookie Stackhouse Box Set it looks to be a good read.

All the plants withered after the hard freeze last night. I find the bleakness of the weather lonely and cold. But the holidays are coming and people will soon be so happy and hang lights to fight the darkness and carols will be sung and Yule will be celebrated around the world in its many guises.

I love the music they are already playing on the radio.

I like to watch Film Noir and we watched Sunset Boulevard last night. Poor Joe – should have seen it coming with the miniature rabbit’s foot attached for luck to his keychain. Not much luck for the rabbit I have always said. And that dead monkey, yipes… Joe you should have just turned around – Monkeys are the artists Quiji board. Mark Ryden, David Dalamere, Nancy Griffith. A dead monkey is never a good sign.  Joe was screwed the moment he let Norma put him in a monkey suit and danced the tango. Joe is the new monkey.

Joe: You’re Norma Desmond. You used to be in silent pictures. You used to be big.
Norma (bristling): I am big. It’s the pictures that got small.
Joe: I knew there was something wrong with them.

Indignant, Norma laments the rise of talkies and the demise of the silents:

 

They’re dead, they’re finished! There was a time in this business when they had the eyes of the whole wide world. But that wasn’t good enough for them. Oh, no. They had to have the ears of the world, too. So they opened their big mouths, and out came talk. Talk! Talk!

Joe jokes about the effects of sound on movies: “That’s where the popcorn business comes in. Buy yourself a bag and plug up your ears.” Norma doesn’t believe that the actors of the talkies era can compete with the stars of the silent era. She refuses to leave her Hollywood past behind:

 

Look at them in the front offices – the masterminds! They took the idols and smashed them. The Fairbanks and the Gilberts, the Valentinos! And who have we got now? Some nobodies.

Joe doesn’t want to take the blame: “Don’t blame me. I’m not an executive. Just a writer.” Norma criticizes Joe as a screenwriter as well as any others responsible for bringing words and sound to the movies: “You are. Writing words, words, more words! Well, you’ve made a rope of words and strangled this business. Ha, ha. But there’s a microphone right there to catch the last gurgles, and Technicolor to photograph the red, swollen tongue.” She orders him out. He sarcastically replies with a reference to Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood: “Next time, I’ll bring my autograph album along, or maybe a hunk of cement and ask for your footprint.”

As he descends the stairs, she pursues him and asks about his screenwriting: “Are you or aren’t you?” He replies: “That’s what it says on my Guild card,” and then explains about his last script and how hazardous it is to be a screenwriter, in a day and age when Hollywood requires hack work:

 

The last one I wrote was about Okies in the Dust Bowl. You’d never know because, when it reached the screen, the whole thing played on a torpedo boat.

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“Psychopaths sell like hot cakes.”  my favorite line….still so true. 

I think I’ll be Norma for Christmas.

I am really trying.

E. B. White, the author of Charlotte’s Web, once wrote “All I hope to say in books, all that I ever hope to say, is that I love the world.”
Started putting the garden to bed today and will have to big time step it up for tomorrow – it is going to get cold soon. The kids bring home so much homework for such little kids – dang school system and the push towards reading equality. I do like all the books they bring home and those neat little scholastic order forms.
I really do feel the love, our sweet dear planet.
Picture from Monches of the cutest little gargoyle that I covet.

Nation of Whiners

Yes I believe I fit into this description by former Sen. Phil Gramm, R-Texas, economic adviser to McCain. I have used my internet diary so far to moan and bitch about more than a few things and I am not alone in this. Lots of mom’s have “bitch blogs” and frankly we have alot to bitch about. My gratitude journal is not read by random robot spiders and other dear mommies though sometimes the magic and laws of attraction spill over onto the computer and happy bubbly thoughts spring forth. I think I will keep the Gratitude and Crafts separate but equal.  It’s really semantics, one mans whiny is anothers bitchy and anothers “tell it like it is”.   That being said – I was reminded by a witch friend and a true “feminist” that we do not want to be above men or thought better than men. Yes yes I know – I do want it truly equal  I believe that it is possible and will happen in my lifetime. So here is what I am reading – between my bitching and whinning.

 

I liked this review so picked it up –

“This latest offering from best-selling author Wolf, The Beauty Myth, is a harbinger of an age that may finally see the patriarchal realm of political discourse usurped. Here is Wolf’s compellingly and cogently argued political argument for civil rights, not women’s rights. She contributes this call to action to a canon that from Plato and Aristotle to Hobbes and Locke and forward, with a few exceptions (e.g., Hannah Arendt), has been largely populated by men. Wolf’s work is actually closer to the agitated, passionate polemics of Emma Goldman than the ponderous, philosophical musings of Arendt. Readers will appreciate her energy and urgency as she warns we are living through a dangerous “fascist shift” brought about by the Bush administration. Her chapters outline the “Ten Steps to Fascism” citing historical corollaries (as well as the pigs in Orwell’s Animal Farm), with headings like “Invoke an External and Internal Threat,” “Establish Secret Prisons,” and “Target Key Individuals.” In other words, fascism can exist without dictatorship. Her book’s publication through a small press in Vermont that is committed to “the politics and practice of sustainable living” rather than through a large trade house is itself a political act. Highly recommended for all collections.”
—Theresa Kintz, Wilkes Univ., Wilkes-Barre, PA

Also reading – Vampires of Hollywood by Adrienne Barbeau and Michael Scott. Loved Adrienne as a teenager and almost all Irish writers and Vampires so fluff it is. My huge pile of summer reading is still collecting dust in the corner as I have mostly watched old movies on TCM and endless the SciFi channel – anything Star Trek and Dr. Who and the BBC America for Dr. Who Torchwood and Grahm Norton. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/grahamnortonshow/) Indeed I am ready for America to go back to the Brits. We Cherokees always sided with the English in the past and mabey it’s time for them to come back.

Oh look Naomi Wolf has a video on you tube

Do you hear the drumming?

Mommy brain and never any time to think….

-What are you doing?

– I’m working

– What kind of work?
– Thinking…

– Crime and Punishment, Dostoevsky

 

“Far-called, our navies melt away;
On dune and headland sinks the fire:
Lo, all our pomp of yesterday
Is one with Nineveh and Tyre!
Judge of the Nations, spare us yet,
Lest we forget lest we forget! “

The Recessional, Rudyard Kipling

Wake up Copper top – as if the Great Mother would let some troll throttle her. Wake up!

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